Host’s Blog


Henry : September 1, 2013 11:43 am

Fall has finally made it and school has just begun. I am reminded of a little song we all were taught in Kindergarten many years ago:

“September ‘s here and the air is cool,
​And we’re old enough and big enough
​To start in school.”

Isn’t that amazing that I can still remember this little song that we were taught about 60 years ago yet we forget other information all the time due to age-related memory loss or other issues going on.

I, personally, have joined a few more Facebook Groups and am trying to expand my usefulness through emails and this website. Because of my advancing age, my in-person sessions have been cut way down. But, looking back, I can see this last year has been a time of restoration and hope for an old man who thought last year that he was on the edge of death at many occasions.

More and more, I am impressed with the greater numbers of people who seem to face clinical depression, despair and suicidal intentions. The happenings in the world have overcome a system in man that just was not meant to take this much stress and pressure.

Many are adrift on troubled waves. The old support systems of extended families are gone. The supports of belonging to a fellowship of others who hold values and morals in common with you are also diminishing.

There are less and less resources to go around and those of us who would never have reached out for help, are now forced to in order to just survive.

Which brings me to a subject dear to my heart: what is the anchor for your times of grief and disappointment? Religion has been, through the ages, a system for mass killings of those who did not see eye to eye with someone else’s value systems.

I am pleased to tell you that we have a well integrated group of leaders on this website.
I am a Christian as is Sarah. Les is Jewish and Mykim is Buddist. During these times of increased stress and moral breakdown, it is good to get in touch with our own personal belief systems. Perhaps, you don’t have this relationship nor even friends to support you.

Too many of us are isolated from others. Families are disintegrating. Children are growing without proper parental guidance and mentoring. What will the next generation be? How will they find answers to their questioning? It seems that more and more, there is no support system whatsoever. People are isolated and lonely and often in a situation of sink or swim. Many do not make it. They self-harm or they take it one step further and just “check out”.

The prevalence of suicides in our world is becoming a big problem. Yes, to all society but even more so to each individual who decided that there was just no way to be a survivor in today’s world.

I urge you if you think that you are in that place where you feel there is no other option open to you but destroying your life and tragically affecting all those with whom your life touches. Please reach out.

Henry, Les, Mykim and Sarah are qualified helpers with peer issues but we are not trained suicide prevention counselors or certified therapists. There is a limit in what we can do. I urge anyone in crisis to call 1-800-273-TALK and talk over your situation with a trained counselor. See our list of resources on the website tab. We certainly do not want to lose even one member to suicide. Life is worth living and your momentary feelings to the contrary are only temporary but often ones you cannot fight without help.

It doesn’t mean that you have some moral weakness or that you are strange and different from all the rest of us. Most of us have faced similar issues but have come out on the other side victorious. It is our prayer that you too can find meaning and purpose to living. Contact us for peer issues. Contact the crisis lines for issues that a trained counselor is needed. We all want to help but sometimes we just don’t know the best things to do or say.

I can assure you that any person who comes to this site is here because you were meant to be here. There is something that we can offer you which you can’t get anyplace else.
We do love and care for our members. Tell your friends about this group, our Facebook pages and resources.

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Henry : August 6, 2013 7:16 pm

We are pleased to welcome Sarah Elizabeth Wynn of London to our management team.

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Henry : July 24, 2013 4:48 pm

Many of us are having tough times lately and going through pressures that all peoples of the face of this earth have never been challenged with before.

The first thing to come to mind is to get out of the situation you may find yourself, when really these hard times can become learning experiences. No one enjoys suffering and so our first response is try very hard to find some way “out”.

Next time something major happens, decide to step back and ask yourself: “What can I learn from this situation?” If this problem continues, ask: “how can I develop a plan to deal with long term issues?

The secret of living more successfully is not screaming and yelling every time something comes up to disturb your peace. Plan ahead for what you would do if and when something comes up. How can I get through this not how I can get out.

Some pray that the storm will not come. Others pray that they might be able to find a way to help those effected by the storm.

When the storms of life come raging into your life, may you find a way through to the other side. Sometimes, you will not get sudden relief or answers to what is going on. Keeping the faith is not easy but it works.

You can prepare a crisis plan ahead of some needs. I carry in my wallet a “crisis list”. On it, is my name, address and phone number, the name of my primary care doctor and his contact information. One of the first questions they will ask you is “Do you have any insurance?” So, it is mandatory for you to put it down completely. What company and policy numbers.

I list my next of kin, that I have a durable power of attorney in force. All my medications are listed and any drug allergies. All current diagnoses are also listed. If I end up in the emergency room or in need of emergency care, everything they need will be readily available. It saves asking questions when time may be critical. If you are unconscious, how would they know how to treat you?

One other thing I put on my list. I have a “Do Not Resucitate” order. Although, I have spoken with EMT’s who tell me they do not honor that demand. Anyway, some states have special forms for the purpose. California calls it a POLST and it comes in flaming pink. They say to put this on your refrigerator door because EMT’s look there. By the way, I also have a copy of the paper from my wallet in a little sleeve held by a magnet to my refrigerator.

May you find stength to face everything that comes this month and beyond. Don’t let worry or anxiety pull you apart. Rest because you are prepared to go through anything.

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How to Find True Happiness and Inner Peace

Henry : July 11, 2013 6:20 pm

How to Find True Happiness and Inner Peace

© 2013 Henry Willey,Jr.

Mankind has always lived in groups—and no individual can isolate himself, either physically or mentally to be happy. …happiness is to be achieved solely in terms in terms of socially useful activities.

All human striving, as we have seen originates in a sense of inferiority. The goal of all human striving is life, security, and that sense of adequacy which we call self-esteem.

The best craftsmanship of life consists in transforming your defects and inferiorities into assets and superiorities.

Real happiness, which we must derive from the conscious and calm utilization of life forces to a useful end, can never be gained by the artificial use of stimulants and intoxication.

Happiness is the interest that is paid men by nature for investments in the good life. It is not a reward for perfection. It begins as a dividend of the first step in the right direction, and it accrues by compound interest.

As a human being you have the choice of three basic attitudes towards life. You may approach life with the philosophy of a turnip, in which case your life will consist in being born, eating, drinking, sleeping, maturing, mating, growing old and dying?”

These operate at the lowest level of humanity. They do nothing to improve themselves. They grow like weeds and their lives are unproductive and of little real value to anyone. The second basic attitude is to look at life as if it were a business.”

W. Beran Wolfe, M.D.How to be Happy though Human’

Many very successful people think life is no more than a business. Their lives are based on competition and competing. It is a dog eats dog world and the survival of the fittest. Their life is a full offense and a successful defense.

These people live life filled with aggressive searching out in competition and building their personal fitness and efficiency. These are the inventors of the “rush hour”, “Instant everything” and the crisis of the “Now”.

These are the greedy ones, the “right is might” and the “end justifies the means”. Those who continually ask: “What is in it for me” will sooner than later suffer disappointments, depression and breakdowns.

They tend to lord it over the “little people” with whom they enslave the world. The world is filled with competition and the pressure is always there to perform bigger and better than anyone else. They are the bullies at school and on the job.

These people breed crime because they can’t or don’t have all that they want in material things. I tends to lead to the feelings of failure in those who strive but can’t achieve. The pressure is on at all times. There is no rest for these kind of people. They become greedy and must have everything their eyes behold. The self-actualizers and those who never get enough are in this class.

These invented the “Me Generation” and Corporate America and a government that instills fear in its citizens along with suspicions and control at every level. They say they are the protectors but in reality they are not. They take your peace and leave you with nothing but poverty and desolation.

Corporate and government domination are those who run the country like a business. We are bought and sold on the public markets like chattel.

Our third type of person is the creative one. They ask: “What can I put into life?” They look for ways to cooperate and use common sense. These people are the real achievers contributing to life instead of constant selfish motivations. Success becomes their reward for living a non-selfish life. It is the process not the product that means something. Their motivations are pure and philanthropic.

What is happiness?

It is not a thing that can be defined clearly, for everyone it is different. There are no standards of achievement or limitations. “Nevertheless, if you observe a really happy man, you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert.”- W. Beran Wolfe

It is not those who search for happiness who find it. One does not seek after it as a goal in itself. One becomes happy as he lives his twenty four hour day with purpose and meaning. There is some rhyme or reason to what he does.

There is no magical formula that can be given. If you are seeking to know your Creator with all your heart; you will find happiness is a byproduct of discovery. Happiness is sometimes termed: Success” but what really is success. Someone has said that it is the steady achievement of any worthwhile goals you set for yourself.

To be happy, you must work on being a complete whole being. Live up to your potentials. It takes courage, hopefulness, faith and commitment. Happiness is in the journey not the destination. Happiness is the interest paid by the Creator for a life well lived.

First you must realize what the materials are that we have been given to work with in life. Then the next step is to learn how to build successfully the life using these gifts and abilities that are God given. Thirdly, you need to have some goals in life. What is it that you really want to achieve in this lifetime?

What are the tools that you have to work with? The secret then is to keep your eye on the goal and do not wander off the pathway that leads to your end dream or reality. Every person has come into this world with something special that only he/she can supply.

There are some real obstacles that can come into play as you seek to lead a full and meaningful life. Some of them are age, sex, time, money and where you live. relatives, public prejudices, physical illness and sometimes religious beliefs.

Failure comes because we are trying to use the wrong kind of tools to achieve our goals. Sometimes, our ideals are not realistic and rather grandiose or we may try too hard to be what we were not designed to be and do.

Happiness is not something that we get overnight. There are successes and failures all along the pathway to our final destination. One must accept an occasional failure and then pick themselves up and get back on track.

Too many, meet failure and they give up. The risks seem to be too much but if you do not accept these occasional setbacks, you will never grow and your position in moving ahead will be slowed down. You have to take some risks to win the prize.

Discouragement and depression can rob you of your happiness. We know that some depression can be seasonally with the lack of sunshine in the winter months. Other reasons can be having a false value system.

Discover what is truly important in life. Evaluate your needs from your wants. It is much easier to find happiness if you set realistic goals for yourself. Are your goals and your methods consistent with reality? Unreal goals are just pipe dreams.

Unreal expectations are the things that will bring you down very fast. What do you really want out of life? What will make you happy? How realistic is this list? Discuss it with someone else who loves or cares for you. Get an objective opinion from someone else.

Learn to adapt. Life is filled with surprises and we can’t be ready for all of them but we can limit our risks through realistic positive thinking. If your goals are too high, you will be defeated and discouraged. Be sure that they are reasonable otherwise you invite defeat and failure.

Never say: “It’s my entire fault” because it seldom is. Don’t set yourself up for discouragement. We all tend to maintain a fixed pattern of behavior.

This was determined in early childhood unless some deep experience or re-programming takes place. Many of our habits are fixed by age five according to specialists in the field.

Progressing along the road to happiness:

The baby finds happiness and contentment by nursing and nurturing. As the child grows, parents, siblings, friends, teachers and significant other people teach the child what is and is not acceptable behavior. Doing the wrong things always has consequences. They are not always immediate but they are sure.

The building has started and many things will influence the growth and fulfillment in a child’s life.

The roots of depression and despair are also planted usually early on. Sometimes, it can be generational and through no cause of your own. How life is built up depends upon the reaction of the child to early influences. Rejection starts early as does nurturing. Sometimes the two are mutually exclusive.

We learn fear. We learn rewards and figure out what brings us contentment and can be very vocal about whether our needs are being met or not. As we grow, we also get the input of others into what is and is not acceptable behavior.

This can bring us into the place of wanting complete perfection and that is the only thing that makes us happy and content. The child is at an incomplete stage of personality development. The body grows slower than the brain and this also is a factor.

The wants of a child exceed his ability to get what he wants and thus his mood depends on others to a great extent. The child is dependent on others for everything.

In school, he will learn that he gets what he wants by being the center of attention, He becomes destructive at home.

Challenging this are courage and gaining useful knowledge. These will help develop the child into a happy and contented person as they learn more independence.

There is a crisis going from absolute dependence upon the parent leading to the child learning individual responsibility for their actions.

Further Personality and Character Development:

The goal is to travel towards the pathway to completeness and totality as a person. The child learns to form his desires into “I want” statements but learns gradually that what he wants is not always what he will get. Growth to adulthood is an evolution of personality and behavior.

What a person wants is compensation or over-compensation for his inadequacies. The child usually finds some one person who embodies all that is perfect and powerful to them. The poor want to be rich. The sick wants to be well. The low achiever wants to be better than anyone else. We learn discontentment early in life. Children need to grow up and this has to be taught to them because growth is a challenge.

One’s goals in life depend on a view of their own inferiorities, situation and totality and not always factually as things are. Children fanaticize because their reality is much different from what they desire inwardly. They want something else that reality doesn’t offer them.

The situation the child believes to be reality for them does become their reality. Once the individual finds good things from their behavior, it will motivate them to grow in the direction of the most rewards. Those positive things will draw the behavior in the direction of rewards just like a magnet draws iron filings.

Dissatisfaction with reality is what motivates the goal-setting. The weak want to be strong, etc. Their goals move in the direction of possession of power and betterment.

The more the person grows; his behavior is aimed at rewards. His self-image is dependent on getting something back in exchange for his energy and a job well done. Characters are developed by the many sources of input and the way the person perceives them and responds.

The personality is developed by looking at what the individual perceives as good and powerful and apt to make him this way too. The growth then is set on its way and the inertia keeps it going unless something or someone intervenes in their life.

Growth brings many changes and some will cause suffering and pain. The person identifies what these are and learns to avoid situations or behavior which does not bring inner satisfaction.

Adulthood brings the person into learning to live with others and in groups. This brings more development of the personality. How those interactions go will determine minor adjustments along the way to adulthood. What does and does not benefit us?

Eventually, we learn that life is lived in relationships with others. Being alone is not satisfying to the person. They find that relationships can bring great joy but also pain. They learn to resist the pain and thus avoid confrontations with others.

Group involvement causes adjustments in our ideas of who we are and what others would like us to be. When we discover that we find satisfaction in the inner person.

Being with others brings comparisons. “Am I like they are?” “Are what I want and what they want the same?” We find that no two humans are alike in all ways. Being different can be good or it can bring us insecurity and “wanna be” feelings.

How does the person himself or the other person need to change to bring accord and agreement in social settings? He discovers that his self-worth can be dependent on what is contributed to the group setting.

Rewards and compensation will help build the way the individual looks at himself. No one wants to feel worthless. He wants to contribute to the general and overall good of others as well as himself.

Experience fits our personalities into a pattern that allows us to be accepted by others. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, needed and of real value. Peer pressure causes us pain and fear of being unpopular or rejected by those we value.

They begin to discover what they can and cannot do. The boundaries are somehow determined. They may not be true and accurate but this is the limitations the person puts on himself.

He learns values and what is important and what is not. What brings good and happiness and what brings hurt, sorrow, disappointment and despair and rejection?

Society determines a great deal who and what the individual will become and be. He must learn to get along with himself, the groups, their work associates and relationships of the heart. There is a close inter-connection with all of these. Failure in any one can bring unhappiness.

We learn that we do not always succeed in what we attempt. There are limitations that we soon discover. Some limitations are self-made and changeable and some are permanent and unchanging. Discovering the differences is a lifelong task. Adapt or you don’t fit in. We can no longer have everything our own way. It won’t work any more.

The goal of human happiness goes through these steps: Honor, Sympathy, Common Sense, Giving, Giving more than required, honesty and sincerity. Of course these are the steps to a good life with rewards. This is character building.

The opposite path is Suspicion, Trickery, Dishonesty, Taking more than Giving, Cruelty and Crime and Punishment. Self-deception and evading responsibility are products of fear and ignorance of what life is all about.

Often these people are anti-social. They perceive everyone as their born enemy. Like my dad used to tell me: “The world doesn’t owe you a living”. He believes that those who are successful got that way through dishonesty and greed. To steal back is only fair in his eyes. Bullying is common for these people. The use of intimidation, shaming and blaming are also his tools.

No one is born bad or good. Each of us is who we are because of the choices we have made.

Blaming is a useful tool to those who do not want to face reality but live in a fantasy world. Sooner or later there will be a rude awakening that this lifestyle gets one in trouble.

The sum total of the tools and techniques an individual uses in the pursuit of his unconscious goal in life constitutes his character.”- W. Beran Wolfe-“How to be Happy though Human”

Character traits are relative and need to be interpreted in the relationships of conduct with others. People can and do change. No one is stuck with what life has given you. You always have the opportunity to change it into something beautiful.

The well adjusted individual is honorable, sincere, optimistic, sympathetic, friendly, self-confident, generous and unafraid…” W. Behran Wolfe, M.D. “How to be Happy though Human”

Building Wisely:

Living a happy life is not just muddling thorough and taking the punches as they come. Much of our life can be changed and is not determined by anyone else but ourselves. Taking personal responsibility of your own growth and recovery is one of the first steps to living a happy life. The first steps need to be taken cautiously but start the walk.

Unhappiness, depression, and despair come often when we choose to isolate ourselves from others. It is a sure way to going down the wrong road to coping and overcoming your obstacles in life.

Man was made to heal and recover from setbacks, illness and disease. Much of what we call healing is the natural product of letting nature take its course.

When nature compensated for a defect, either is structure, such as a broken bone, or in function such as in a heart whose valves did not function correctly, that the compensatory mechanism frequently more than filled in the defect. In other words, where nature found a minus, she was inclined to replace it with a double plus, the healed bone being stronger than the original fractured bone, the leaking heart, by virtue of an overgrowth of muscular tissue, becoming in some instances better and larger pump than a normal heart.”- W. Beran Wolfe, M.D.How to be Happy though Human”

Those who find that life has handed them what others term disability often fine that God has provided something else in which you can excel and become better than your idols.

Often, the character and behavior is because of some physical defect or inadequacy in the body. This brings us to the causes of some character problems.

Some have thought there are diseases of the brain or chemical imbalances which cause damaged emotions. We also find that feelings come not only from the brain but the heart and gut. A displacement or malfunction in the body can lead to the emotions and behavior in individuals. Much of this is still unproven and in the theoretical stages but research is going on and at least parts of it are true.

Some diseases have been proven to be genetic and linked to DNA abnormalities. Some serious mental illnesses are still without a known cause. We do know that childhood trauma, nurturing, poor parenting, shame, guilt, societal interactions such as bullying or putdowns can damage us.

Much of who we are the product of our reactions to our environment and other outside stimuli. One has to learn how to identify the problem areas and then find coping mechanisms to overcome the bad things in life. Interacting with others certainly helps us if the people we are meeting and getting to know are sympathetic to our issues.

Support groups have been extremely successful in helping people identify the problems that might have been right in front of their eyes but just needed a new perspective to see it in reality. Coping skills are also shared and become valuable tools for your ongoing journey.

It helps to have someone to whom you can share on an intimate basis the very issues of life that are troubling you. Of course, this person must be someone who you can trust and respect, someone who can and does keep confidences; one who will carry the load with you of overwhelming issues.

Today’s society does not lend itself to these kinds of relationships. Everyone is TOO busy trying to make a living and dealing with their own lives that they rarely can or will find time to be a true friend as we picture it should be in our imagination. Supportive individuals and groups can help tremendously. Isolation will bring only bigger problems as you tend to focus on yourself and your situations.

Man was made to live in groups. That is why solitary confinement is so inhumane. It robs the person of interaction with others. We were born to be inter-dependent although we like to think we are and should be independent. We all need each other.

Infants left unattended die a cruel and fast death simply from isolation. Isolations from others can be deadly physically, mentally or emotionally. There is strength in numbers and belonging to a therapeutic, helpful, supportive group will help you tremendously in overcoming hurts and pain.

Groups are our first line of defense against threatening forces. Learn to become socially well-adjusted. Listen, share and participate for this will bring you healing power and happiness.

No Man Is An Island

No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.

By John Donne

Lonliness is the most dangerous plague on civilization.”

– W. Behran Wolfe, M.D. “How to be Happy though Human”

Important bonds which help us in groups are: same language, emotional links like love, sympathy, friendships, pity and empathy. Other things that tend to unite us are: work, play, music, art, ethics, world view, philosophy, religion, writing, science, clothing, appetite, rituals food and physical attractions. Some societies could never exist without the group.

Look at our Constitution. We agreed to join together for the public safety, common defense and insure the general welfare. We are a people who have joined together for common issues. There will always be certain ties that bind us to one another.

Nervousness, anxiety, worry, timidity, or actual fear where no danger exists, are therefore manifestations which accompany an unconscious realization of danger or isolation. An individual who has effectively isolated himself feels himself in constant danger in situations where normally social men and women feel secure.”-

W. Behran Wolfe, M.D. “How to be Happy though Human”


How to be Happy though Human

W. Beran Wolfe, M.D.

Farrar & Rinehart Publishers

On Murray Hill, New York

© 1931

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Henry : June 25, 2013 4:16 pm

Henry’s July blog


I am pleased to announce some changes for the better on the website. Mike Davenport in Phoenix does our web mastering for free and his latest improvements are welcome. I felt like we needed some more interesting backgrounds.


We have added a new calendar in which we will list regional and national events that may be of interest to our readers. Some programs offer scholarships and are well worthwhile. I have traveled coast to coast for some of these meetings and met leaders from all over the country. Now that I am not able to travel, it would be great for some of our members to be able to go for yourself and learn the newest and latest things.


I want to urge all of us to avoid isolation. We need each other more and more as the days get more difficult for us to handle alone. Join a support group in your area or if there is not one, go to our resources manual on “Group Facilitation Made Easy”. It is important just to get started and much of what you need to know will come with experience. The manual will keep you from falling into some of the pitfalls that so many well-intentioned but inexperienced people encounter.


As always, we are seeking partnerships with those of you who would like to share a guest blog or something useful with the others.


The group is open to everyone and membership is free. All of our materials are no cost to you and developed by experienced workers in the field.


We are always open to new suggestions for improving the site.


We are pleased to feature Mykim Tran and want to support her in her work as she builds a new business in the Sacramento, California area. Eventually, she will be branching off into her own but until then; her articles and advice are always exceptional. “Wake Up Communications” is the name of her organization.


Special thanks to Les Levenson who is my right hand man and is the force behind much of what we are able to do. Les is available online almost all the time and can help you problem-solve your situations. He is experienced and knows whereof he speaks. Matched with all of that is a very caring personality and exceptional listener and a positive attitude.


Follow us on Facebook: Pathways to Exceptional Living


We also started a new Facebook group: Finding Encouragement Here

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Henry : May 31, 2013 8:50 pm

Blog for June 2013

Here we are at the half way point of another year. Things have happened that we didn’t expect. New challenges came that we did not foresee. Nevertheless, we have come this far and we are ready for those new unexpected things that lie ahead. No one knows tomorrow and that is a good thing. We would worry more than we already do about things. “Future blindness” is a blessing. Keep faith that in the end, all things will turn our just as they should be in the larger scheme of things.

We live in a day of insecurity. Values and morals are changing fast and society is crumbling all around us. We live in a land of ever increasing fear. The challenge is for each of us to discover new friends and stand by those whom we have had all along that have sustained us during the hard times of life. Reach out and find those who will help you achieve your dreams. Avoid isolation and the tendency to think that everything is beyond hope. Hiding from life will not make it go away.

Hang onto hope for a future and develop your faith to new and higher levels. There are so many who need our help. Many are on the edge of destitution and homelessness.

First of all, we need to make sure our families are taken care of. Do you have a child, parent, sister or brother who is in financial crisis? Can you help them at all? Do they lack their basic needs? We are at a place today when “Needs” and “Wants” need to be clarified. There are some things that we think we need but really it is not essential to food, shelter and clothing. We have to weigh the two and make up our minds to meet our Needs first. Then, if we have money left, we can buy luxury items.

Because this is the richest country in the world (or so it seems) our value systems are faulty. Once our basic needs are met, we can look beyond to help our family members, close friends and even strangers.
Sometimes, the smallest things we can do can mean the difference between survival and destruction.

Many people are on the verge of giving up. Their life situations seem unsolvable. They don’t know where to turn. Let them turn to you. Be sensitive to their needs. Don’t make them beg you for help. Be vigilant to see those who are in need. Maybe, all you can do is to give an encouraging word, offer a meal or a listening ear. Money is not everything. Most of us do not have an over-abundance of that.

There are so many other things that we could do that would bring them a little courage. Be confident that your life will be manageable and that the answers will come in due time. Some of us are walking through rocky roads and situations that challenge our very existence. Never give up. Things do tend to get better in time. Don’t make rash decisions that have long term results. Never be afraid or ashamed to ask for help when things become unmanageable. There is a time to give and a time to receive. Be sensitive to those times in yourself and others.

It does not mean that we are weak if we need some help. It takes courage to fight on and to continue when things are so troubling. Never despair. Brighter days for you will come. Be confident of that one thing. No matter what happens, I am cared for and loved. Love will win out. When there is “no way” be assured that there is a way that will open to you.

Stand in your integrity. Never sacrifice what you know is right for something second best. Those who fix their mind on truth and love can never fail. We might not be a success in man’s eyes but that really doesn’t matter. If we hold to our integrity and moral code, we will be standing on sacred ground.

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Henry : April 28, 2013 5:59 am

May Blog:

Spring has come and to those of you who have had a hard winter, I wish you a pleasant rest of the season and a summer of fun, relaxation and recreation.

I have been aware that there are many of us who have invisible disabilities. Often, someone will say: “But, you look so good” while inside we are in great pain or misery due to a disability no one can see at first glance.

Be respectful of those who are suffering. Be willing to listen to their story. Everyone has a story and we can all learn so much if we will only truly listen. People with these conditions need to be able to talk about what they are going through with someone who is sympathetic if not empathetic.

It is not that we are “belly aching” we just need to be able to talk about it. Maybe, we can find some coping mechanisms that you have learned. Maybe, there is some cheer you might be able to share.

Most of us are living from day to day and paycheck to paycheck. There are many things going on in our world that can cause us alarm or even fear. It seems like ever since 911, we have become a nation of fear. Disasters, murders, rapes, breaches of trust are our daily news.

It is our intention that you find hope and recovery on these pages. That you find purpose and meaning in life. Our Pathways to Exceptional Living Workbook was made just to help us with these daily issues.

It was developed by me when I was visiting two locked wards on a weekly basis in Phoenix, Arizona, Veteran’s Administration Medical Center. These are all very basic character-building lessons. The can be taught in a class or you can download them and study on your own.

We are working on our organization in order to provide a list of those authorized to teach the courses found in our booklets:
• Group Facilitation Made Easy
• Life Recovery Coaching
• Pathways to Exceptional Living Workbook

If, after studying the courses, you feel you would like to be certified to teach them in your area, contact me for approvals. We are hoping to have many instructors around the world. You can have your own exclusive territory if that is your desire.

Pathways to Exceptional Living is still fairly new and evolving. The directions it takes will be due to the leadership and you the members. Tell us what you would like to see on this website. If you are already involved in a similar work, consider partnering with us. Ask me and we will consider adding your interests.

Welcome Jennifer MacDonald from Manitoba, Canada who has just joined us and will supervise all our work in Canada.

Join in these two Face book Groups
Pathways to Exceptional Living–


I would be eager to talk about it with you about any comments or suggestions you might have.

Write to me at:

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Henry : April 6, 2013 5:12 am

Greetings to all our friends who use this site as a source of help and comfort in these days of stress and inconclusiveness and welcome to this site where your voice can be heard.  We are always open to hearing from new members on pathways that have worked for you.  We invite your guest blog.  

Every day seems filled with some news of something terrible and earthshaking.  We hear terms like “this is a storm of Biblical Proportions”.  Or, we hear of plagues of locusts, spiders and bugs.  Then there is the new super-bug that has no known cure.

 It is easy to get caught up in all the disaster of the moment and lose sight of the long term issues we call life.  We all need each other and all the more so as things get worse.  We are here for you and only ask that you use our site as best you can and help us to improve it to meet unmet needs,

 What is important are the little things.  Don’t expect tomorrow’s answer until tomorrow comes.  So many of us borrow trouble that is not even something we have to deal with yet.  Worry and anxiety creep upon us unawares no matter how much we try to stay focused on the present.

 I want to let you know of some new things available to those in the mental health helping business.  There is Emotional CPR with Dr. Dan Fisher, M.D., PhD. and survivor.

I have had the pleasure of taking some classes from Dan in Sacramento.  He is only a few months older or younger than I.  You can find him on and his blog is still up under guest blogs.  I want to keep it available until something else new and exciting comes along.

Dr. Breggin, M.D. is a really active activist for those of us who think too many diagnoses are given out and too many drugs seem to be the only viable answer from professionals. Some have thought he is connected with Scientology because of his strong stance.  That is not true categorically.

Professional website of Peter Breggin, MD

Psychiatric reform website:

Please see my ‘public figure’ Facebook page where my wife Ginger and I relate with Facebook friends:

See my professional website:
See the psychiatric reform organization I have founded: Center for the Study of Empathic Therapy, Education and Living:


Henry Willey, President/CEO

Arcata, CA., USA

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Henry : March 1, 2013 3:39 pm

March Blog:

Welcome to March from the founder and President.

There is much chaos in our country right now.  A time of turmoil, worries and uncertainty abounds.  Hopefully, you will not let these things distract you from the hope of a meaningful life ahead. All of these events are mere distractions and nothing will come up which will overwhelm you.  There is always a way through, around or over your situation.

We are hoping to add some new guest blogs as we get more settled into our new website.

New Affiliates and new “Pathways” will be added soon as we try to make this site helpful to more and more people.  Since we are a new organization, there will be course adjustments all along the way.  We are open to suggestions and comments.  Feel free to post.

Henry is busy moving into new areas of teaching and research on spiritual subjects and has a new Facebook group.  It is not affiliated with Pathways and is his personal medium for keeping  busy in retirement.  He turns 69 this month and continues to remain active despite many physical limitations.

Mykim is very active and has many useful postings for successful living and self-help.  Many of her articles have been published in the Examiner news.  Her new organization is really taking off and her career is expanding.

Mykim remains our contract agent to teach all the courses with manuals found elsewhere on the site.

Life Recovery Coaching, Group Facilitation Made Easy

and Pathways to Exceptional Living Workbook.

Les is our Vice-President and is branching out with “Creative First Steps” Facebook group.

Feel free to join him and participate in the discussions.  Use the quote marks when searching for the group on Facebook.

He has a chat forum now and is expanding so there are new and creative new ways to find support from the members of his group. His commitment to helping individuals with emotional and behavioral problems is extensive.  You can email or call him anytime.


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Henry : January 24, 2013 5:02 am

Using Proper Language with the disabled…

7 Things NEVER to Say to People With Disabilities

We’ve all heard them. Culturally insensitive terms such as “handicapped,” “retarded” and “slow” used to refer to people with disabilities, or “compliments” such as “but you look so good,” directed at people whose disabilities aren’t obvious. While those using the terms may not mean to be insensitive, that doesn’t make the words less hurtful.

1. “What’s wrong/what happened?” or “Were you born that way?”

2. “Oh, if you just have faith, you can be healed.

3. Speaking slowly or loudly to someone who is in a wheelchair.

4. “I don’t even think of you as a person with a disability.”

5. “How do you go to the bathroom?”

6. “But you look so good.”

7. “Oh, you’re here, you must feel better.”

Then there are invisible disabilities.

Maybe, like me,  you have one

“But you look so good”

Obvious, you may think you’re doing the right thing by saying he or she “looks so good.” You can’t even tell the person has a disability, and that’s a good thing, right? Wrong.

Why do people with disabilities take offense to this comment and others like it?  Ninety-six percent of
illnesses are invisible to the average person, according to
To comment on a person’s outward appearance dictates, intentionally or otherwise, that they should feel the way they look: just fine.
However, non-visible or chronic illnesses, such as diabetes, mental illness, lupus, multiple sclerosis and
fibromyalgia, can be debilitating. “The term ‘invisible disabilities’ refers to a person’s symptoms such as extreme fatigue, dizziness, pain, weakness, cognitive impairments, etc., that are sometimes or always debilitating.
These symptoms can occur due to chronic illness, chronic pain, injury … and are not always obvious to the onlooker,” according to The Invisible Disabilities Association.
“A person can have an invisible disability whether or not they have a ‘visible’ impairment or use an assistive device like a wheelchair, walker, [or] cane.”
Keeping a good game face is required in corporate America, as it is considered unprofessional to bring
personal problems into the workplace. But looking good and feeling good are two very different things–
and the impact of a disability or illness is as much psychological as it is physical.
From the glares people with non-visible disabilities get after parking in a handicapped spot to the “You’re so lucky you get to stay in bed all day” comments, the ignorance of the limitations of life with a chronic illness or disability can hurt as much as the actual pain. Open Mouth, Remove Foot
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